Ten minutes…

Before I head to work, I will just tell you all this thing:

I don’t know.

Aside from that, what I do know is this: My heart is not, I repeat NOT the center of the universe. It’s just not. God cares for my heart, and HE is the center of the universe, but that doesn’t give me leave to divert every ounce of mental, physical, emotional, spiritual energy on how I’m feeling. I think… I think that feelings are to be felt. And that’s all. Not regurgitated and eaten twice; not repeated for the sake of relating with others; not conjured up to justify behavior… Yes. Yes, yes. I’m sure, just sure that feelings are to be felt. When you feel a pin prick, you wince as you feel the pain. You don’t whine and moan and tell everybody about it and keep pricking it…

I think the reason I DO that is because, when you’re in PAIN, you don’t really have the option – you just ARE in reality. You can’t ignore pain to the point that it doesn’t exist: pain brings you down to the ground… and living in reality is something people are slowly forgetting how to do… so when they discover something that jerks them there, they subconsciously invite it to stay…

Anyway… all this to say: I’m okay. God is good. He has a plan. He loves me. I’ll be fine. His peace is the rock solid reality that I CAN remain in… don’t have to feel it all the time, because it IS the reality that He exists, He’s made everything Right, and He Loves.

That’s all for now. Off to make dresses.