Dang guys you’re really making me feel good, with all these “You’re a good writer” compliments!
Today is Sunday, December 13th. This is going to be a week to remember, for me. But before I talk about what’s going to happen, let me tell you what has already happened, since last we spoke.
My-Lady-on-the-Left cried wolf! I’m so relieved, I’m not even mad at her for scaring me like that.
And about the HER2 stuff–– I was a little confused when I wrote about it in my last post–– since the original test was inconclusive, they’re going to wait until surgery, and then test the whole tumor (to get a better reading).
So. I’m having a unilateral nipple-sparing (woohoo!) mastectomy on Wednesday. During the surgery, they’re going to biopsy my “sentinel nodes.” I imagine these as cute little British sentries, opening and closing gates for passing lymph–– which in this analogy is humble townsfolk, going here and there, taking care of business. If any of these nodes show signs that cancer has passed through their gate, unfortunately the whole crew has to be scooped out immediately. And obviously that would mean that cancer has traveled to parts unknown, which would suck and I don’t feel like thinking about it right now.
Like I said before, the hospital doesn’t have enough beds for me to stay overnight–– or at least they’re anticipating it–– so, instead of having immediate reconstructive surgery, I’m going to have to wait a few months until maybe there’s some relief from the pandemic.
In the meantime, of course, there will be tons of doctor visits, lab results, etc. They told me to plan for two months recovery from the initial surgery.
Which brings me to the Meal Train. And I just have to say, HOLY SHIT. I had no idea people could be so generous! What the hell is wrong with all of you!?! Truly, my heart has been slowly exploding, more and more, every day since that darn thing went up. If you’re unaware, I’m talking about the MealTrain that Jill Harper set up for my recovery. I wasn’t even aware of the “give money” feature, I just thought it was a meal sign up. So now I get two weeks of food delivered to my door by my treasured friends, and I don’t have to worry about not working the next two months! I’m absolutely blown away. There just aren’t words. You guys are the breast. And saying that is never going to get old.
I’ve been really getting into the Christmas spirit these last couple weeks! It’s been several years since we had a Christmas tree–– our lease agreement says we can’t have a real tree in the house (fire hazard or some nonsense), and I’ve been so bitter about it, we basically skip the holiday every year. Anyway, this year, I was really craving Cheer, so I decided to go looking for a falsie with my friend Kate. And it was a Christmas miracle!–– we found a beauuuutiful tree, at the 6th Ave Goodwill, of all places! It honestly looks real!… from across the room… squinting. Just kidding, it actually does look real. The needles on the branches are molded pieces of hard-ish plastic, instead of floppy vinyl pipe-cleaner-looking things (no offense, Annie & Brendan’s tree). I was feeling so festive, I bought a bunch of ornaments too, made a tree skirt out of a cheap blanket, and viola! Christmas has come to the House of Baudrons!
I went even harder as soon as the tree was up. I did all of our Christmas shopping, basically in one day. It felt kind of frantic, as it usually does, so I decided (again) to start on shopping much earlier next year. I also carved up a dumb Christmas card (which Adam is literally printing as we speak). If you want one, send me your address ASAP. I’m going to try and get them out before Wednesday so I don’t have to worry about them on the other side of surgery.
Adam, by the way, has been under the gun with finals and thesis work recently. His thesis show is not too far away now (I think it’s at the end of January/beginning of February), and he has a lot to do in a little time. I really feel for him, it seems like a lot of stress. Add the pandemic and cancer to the mix–– poor guy! Think I should get him a puppy? Jk. Fortunately, Emily Jalinsky–– dear, wonderful, Emily Jalinsky–– is going to be able to hang out with me a couple times a week so that Adam can be in the studio.
Have I gushed about Emily Jalinsky yet? As you’ll recall, Emily is my friend here in Iowa City who I nannied for. Yes, preposition placement, yes “nanni-ed” past-tense. Friday was my last day as Margo’s nanny. :( But I’ve upgraded to Aunt, which fills me with smiles. Back to Emily. She has become one of my very closest friends over the past several months. We knew before I started nannying for her that the two of us had a lot in common, but spending time with each other daily has revealed that we are, actually, the same person. Except that she’s already practically perfect in every way, and I just have that as a goal for somewhere down the road. Anyway she’s just the best.
So yes, I’m no longer a nanny. The old girl’s off to daycare, and I’m off to being a grumpy old crumb again. Margo really lit up a dark spot in my psyche. It’s amazing how “new” she still is to the world, even at two. I was only her nanny for four months, but I got to experience her learning how to draw a smiley face for the first time! What an honor. Having a kid wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Well, I’m officially unemployed again. I know that’s just the way it has to be right now, but it’s always a weird [bad] feeling. I’m going to try my darnedest to not become an alcoholic, but Covid already started me down that path a while ago, so I’m not making any promises. I really just have no idea what to expect of the coming months. At least I have Art Office. What a #blessing. The Mini Session is coming to a close this week. It’s been a super relaxed session this time, what with my cancer and the holidays and all. I’m so grateful for it, still.
Thank you all again for your never-ending love and support. I’m so overwhelmed right now, but I promise I’m going to reply to each and every one of you as soon as I can. Love to you and yours. xoxo